Refill

You'll realize it one day

[ Flashback from 4 years ago ]

I remember it clearly. I was looking through a coffee shop window during my Makati working days. I was contemplating on my realization at that time-- that all my self-pity (of the things I didn't get to experience back in college) was all for nothing. A lot of people who have been around me this time have perceived me as a really happy person. That was only 50% true..

[ End of Flashback ]

Despite how far I've come from being the not-as-fortunate (there I think that should sound more appropriate) person I saw myself to be -- it was still a good time spent. Because the product of the time spent living each day with this in mind was the REALIZATION - that there are reasons we don't understand as to why things don't go the way we want them to.

And here's the consolation part.

Even if you traveled back in time and talked to your younger self (to tell him/her to do things sooner), your younger self wouldn't listen to you. This is the part that makes you say "aaahh yeah you're right.. so it really had to happen like this".

Which brings me to my point. It's ok to feel sad about things you didn't get in life, but one day you'll realize that it wasn't all for nothing. When you look back at it, it will all be good somehow.

I didn't write this to enlighten younger people. I'll bet a person in their teens and early twenties wouldn't listen anyway. I want us all to JUST KEEP WRITING our story. As I've written in a previous post, what we are now is a product of our decisions and consequences of our actions. There is no one to recognize/blame but ourselves.


What did I do this time?

There have been some things that happened to me in the recent months that made me look up in heaven and couldn't help but ask - why is it that when I've decided to live my life in reckless abandon, someone comes your way and without being aware of it - you bring them closer to you - to the point that it will be another growing experience for me. I feel that if this keeps up, life as it is will either improve or get worse.

It's not fair - why is it that when I've got things going good for me, God throws a wrench somewhere. Fate is really crazy..

Fortunately, I'm not the person I was years ago. I've changed. And this time, I'm going to just do what I do. I've learned that it has always worked that way for me.

And so I live each day continuing to write my story.. with 1% of doubt, and 99% of zest.