It's not his/her fault

[ This is the November post ]

I was browsing news articles in a japan online newspaper. Most of the articles contained stories of the effects of economic problems faced by the nation. Some of these stories zeroed in on practical real life examples.

There was one article that caught my attention.. it was a theory that by Japan's standards, if your annual net income was below 900,000 pesos (converted amount from Yen equivalent), you are poor.

I was dumbfounded.

By world's standards, I AM POOR. Not just borderline poor. VERY POOR actually. =)

Then the article continued on by stating some examples of people whose lifestyle is considered below the poverty line. I don't want to expound on the details of the lifestyle itself, as this is the person's bias/opinion on it.

What I wanted to ponder on - is the reaction of a reader below the article. In a nutshell, this person was stressing two things. The first is that it's not the person's fault if he/she is poor. Whoever was claiming that life provides equal opportunities to everyone should really see a doctor.

The second point being emphasized by the reader, was that life is all about haves and have-nots. This was really mortifying to hear, but made a lot of sense. After all, what could you do if you were born from a poor family?
You couldn't possibly have the same opportunities of someone who was born and raised in a wealthy one.

And only after realizing this and applying this theory to your situation will you be able to pick better options based on what you have and what you don't have.

It can't always be the same

[ October entry ]

Imagine your life every morning when you're on your way to work.

LET'S SAY.. you have a habit of stopping by for coffee at your favorite coffee shop. This coffee shop's product is very good and manages to make you happy almost every single time you drop by.

Then.. after years of going there, your friend visits you coming from some far away place and where's the first place you take him/her? In a coffee shop that you don't frequently visit. If ever this happened to you - this isn't anything new. While there are many possible reasons that cause this to happen -- I will point out only one for this post. Particularly, the idea of inevitable change.

When I take an even closer look as to why you decide to change one day in what you want/like to do, I feel that it's mostly because we are serving our conscience with respect to discontentment. Yeah yeah I know. There are hopeful souls who believe in contentment. I myself want to believe this too. Perhaps contentment exist, but not in its purest form. I mean - there will always be something that we'll want to change, or something we'll want become restless with. And there will always be a part of us that will always stay the same.

But for the most part of our life, we simply have to accept the fact that not everything we have around us will stay the same. I suddenly remember what happened this year in terms of routine. This year was quite an odd year. The same people who I've been seeing every year? This time around it was total opposite. I never got to see them at all. And as I would like to protest to myself at my neglect of initiative, I have come to accept the fact that maybe.. just maybe.. I grew tired of how I was conducting myself among my friends and so I decided to go totally rouge this year and if
I compared this year with the past years in terms of social interaction - it's really totally happier but not necessary better. Mostly happier because I paid more attention to the inner voice telling me what I wanted to happen and went on with it, compared to doing a lot of things out of habitual obligation.

Why are you looking back?

[ This serves as my September entry ]

Some person I knew chatted me online a about 2 weeks ago and said that she was leaving the country in a couple of weeks. She was probably surprised that I wasn't sad at all. In fact I was quite happy. I was telling stuff like "don't ever come back" as if I was permanently sending her off. (Well, that was actually the case).

I just hate it when people are itching to leave this country, and when they finally do, they are feeling sad when there are people who are happy that they're leaving. I mean.. what's up with that? I don't see the point in peddling for sentiments of people to miss you, let alone wanting to be around.

They should really be just plain thankful for being fortunate as to experience opportunities like those. I know a whole lot of people who would almost give anything just to leave.

And don't get me started about sentiments on staying in touch. At some point in your life, you will lose touch with the people who are around you (the ones who live in the same country as you).

I don't mean to be cold. It's just that..

People should really just learn to live with the consequences of their actions.

It's either that or.. leaving life in the Philippines has become so much of a norm that I could care less for people who say they love they country then leave it.

Loophole

Ever been in a long line let's say, when you're lining up for a ticket in a movie? Then, some random person is standing say.. 1 meter next to the 5th person from the ticket counter? In the midst of confusion, the next thing you see, is that the random person is now the 6th person in the line? (much to the chagrin of the other people waiting in the line). What sucks even more, is that the other people in the line aren't doing anything real to alleviate the situation (such as move the person who snucked in the line out). Anyway, I meant that as an example.

Welcome to Philippine culture. One that is very polite (and hypocritically polite at times).

Too polite that there are good and bad aspects of being polite. I'll talk about the good effect of it first.

The good part of being polite, is that when you do something wrong, people will... usually not correct you. What happens is that they will hope that your conscience will hit you on the head seconds after you do something inappropriate. In other words, you are given a chance to gracefully settle an issue.

The bad part of being polite, is that people who know this part of Philippine culture will still do something inappropriate, and they know they'll get away with it -- because people will wait for you to fix yourself.

[ I know there's a really big and good example we'd all like to site, but I think I'd rather site a much simpler example, which also caters to some people who read my blog regularly ]

I remember a couple of months ago, my friend (who was years younger) was complaining to me at how there was some guy placing his hand around her, or even on her waist when he said he wanted a picture. She was in a costume in an event, so there were a couple of people (she calls them cleptomaniacs) who were doing this. She felt that she was being handled, yet she could not do anything, because shrieking in the middle of a photo opportunity when a lot of other people around will almost certainly send the impression to other people, that the guy who just was beside her is a pervert.

That's an example of the bad effect of being polite. YOUNG girls (I specifically emphasize YOUNG because sensible, aged girls will slap guys who do this) always refer to elder guys as "Kuya", and in doing so, denotes respect. When this respect is taken advantage of by violating a person's personal space (by touching in any form), the younger girl usually can't do anything about it, because our polite culture dictates that we have to respect our seniors (let alone can't talk back at them). We wait for the lecherous "kuya" to fix himself, however, much to the disappointment of those who believe in values, this does not happen. And this happens again and again - thus, the loophole in our (hypocritically) polite culture.

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Taking a step farther back, I think about my niece, who is starting to express an interest in cosplaying (after she learned that I'm usually covering those types of events). I wonder if I did see a stranger's hand on my niece's waist or similar -- I really want her to learn that lesson the hard way. After all, I feel that minor-aged girls won't listen to advice (even if they ask for it). It always has to be a personal experience before they even do something (or hope they do something).

Each New Day

Each new day is like a new page in the story of your life.. I want to write mine down whenever I can.. right about now, I feel the stress of the consequences of my actions. It's tiring, painful sometimes, but at the same time, happy and fulfilling.

What's on my mind right now

One of the things I deal with everyday is acceptance of reality - A reality that I don't always like, the reality of potential dangers of the things and people that I care for and hold dear, and there is of course.. (faintly) the reality of hope for happy moments in the future.

Today, I closed my eyes momentarily in meditation and prayed for patience and strength. I believe it's what I need right now the most. The patience is necessary to understand and see clearly in order to do things right. Strength is necessary to be able to endure the toll of waiting brought about by practicing patience.

I am lagging behind in my latest web project.. I'm not happy with how the schedule is eating up too much of my freetime there's barely any time to continue developing it. I need to focus again.. I have it.. it's just that it's faltering now because of some external factors that are causing me to lose concentration.

I love what's happening to my photography though.. after having accomplished what I've initially set to do.. it's time to start taking things to another level still, even if it will increase the chances of reaching heaven by 1%. I wonder how my best friend photographer is doing.. we've taken different roads. He's on the street and I'm on the road to cosplay. While we are from different disciplines, we are connected in our mission.. to build our own heaven.

There.. I feel much better.. I offer this post for those who are weary in their struggle to make things happen in their lives. Find your own medium of living your story in the best possible way..

When only leftovers are left..

I had an unwarranted sermon from my dad about how I adamantly refuse to spend on anything other than helping with the house bills. My reason is simple -- I do not see sound spending in things I don't get to use (such as the car, a mactan-stoned wall and floor, and uh.. paint?).

He was going about what he will do if he does still manage to make good income with real-estate still. Not that I don't believe him about the things he still wants for me (like buying me things like a car, etc.)

Why is it like that? Parents always expect you to want to give back some things.. and when you do, they grow dependent on you. And here, some parents (the really lean mean and priority-conscious ones) will educate you like -- a parent's role is to support their children until they graduate. After that, their obligation is done. Personally, I think the latter is better.

Parents have their own lives to live. Being free from an obligation of sending your children through college is something I believe all parents deserve. However, being free from the obligation does not earn the parent the right to be demanding to your children for support.

And the same applies with adolescents who graduate. They can't be dependents forever, so they should strive HARD and make every effort - to be independent one day. Given this premise -- how the hell can they achieve independence when the parents are coercing you for support?

The answer is simple.. make provisions to be on your own. Period.

Here lies the problem - parents will still want to give their care to their children, regardless of their age.

Going back to what my father says about the things he still wishes to give me.. even if that does happen now -- there's a world of difference in giving your son a car when he's turning thirty and when he just turned 21 (and even sadder still when you're turning 40). I'm like.. "Oh Joy *sic*". I'm really glad I've let go of those types of expectations a long time ago. I've already assessed my situation and seen the vision of what life would be like if I lived alone.

Now back to getting real..

Separation Anxiety

I finally got to talk to my best friend who is based in Dubai a couple of days ago. In as much as I could feel that he sounded happy, there was a tinge of deep sadness in the tone of his words. I guess that's how it is when you trade your setup for money. To tell you the truth, there ARE odd occasions that I, too, experience deep sadness whenever I think of the caveats that come with my chosen setup.

Anyway, the point of our conversation was to catch up on what's been happening in Manila, and what's been happening to life in general. He said that contrary to popular belief that life in Dubai is good, it depends on what you hold dear. He says that he envies me now, because I still manage to be happy in my home country and manage to make ends meet when it comes to helping the household expenses, and my hobbies. One thing is clear though -- you sacrifice a lot whenever you be away from friends and loved ones just in order to survive.

I don't know why I couldn't say anything really soothing about my best friend's situation. We always deserve the consequences of our decisions. I keep telling him, that in a few years at least he'll be living like a king when he returns to Manila. As for me, if the opportunity to spread the wings and fly even higher ever do come, I'll cross the bridge when I get there, but I've stopped thinking about the future, because I've been busy enjoying life's moments right now.

After a few more minutes of correspondence, my best friend thanked me for staying up later than usual, as I felt that a really heavy burden just disappeared off his shoulders. I forgot to thank him however.. as I felt that all the problems I deal with suddenly went away as well.