I had an unwarranted sermon from my dad about how I adamantly refuse to spend on anything other than helping with the house bills. My reason is simple -- I do not see sound spending in things I don't get to use (such as the car, a mactan-stoned wall and floor, and uh.. paint?).
He was going about what he will do if he does still manage to make good income with real-estate still. Not that I don't believe him about the things he still wants for me (like buying me things like a car, etc.)
Why is it like that? Parents always expect you to want to give back some things.. and when you do, they grow dependent on you. And here, some parents (the really lean mean and priority-conscious ones) will educate you like -- a parent's role is to support their children until they graduate. After that, their obligation is done. Personally, I think the latter is better.
Parents have their own lives to live. Being free from an obligation of sending your children through college is something I believe all parents deserve. However, being free from the obligation does not earn the parent the right to be demanding to your children for support.
And the same applies with adolescents who graduate. They can't be dependents forever, so they should strive HARD and make every effort - to be independent one day. Given this premise -- how the hell can they achieve independence when the parents are coercing you for support?
The answer is simple.. make provisions to be on your own. Period.
Here lies the problem - parents will still want to give their care to their children, regardless of their age.
Going back to what my father says about the things he still wishes to give me.. even if that does happen now -- there's a world of difference in giving your son a car when he's turning thirty and when he just turned 21 (and even sadder still when you're turning 40). I'm like.. "Oh Joy *sic*". I'm really glad I've let go of those types of expectations a long time ago. I've already assessed my situation and seen the vision of what life would be like if I lived alone.
Now back to getting real..
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1 comment:
Hi Kiko!
Here's another post that I agree with 100%. There are parents out there who, unfortunately, think that it's only natural for the kids to "return the favour" of being raised and sent to school. That's bollocks. that's their responsiblity as parents in the first place and they should never think that their kids should pay them back. Sad to see that some parents treat their children like people they do business with rather than their flesh and blood :-(
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